


Kidlets

by yeaka



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Asexual Character, Established Relationship, Ficlet, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-01-05
Packaged: 2018-03-05 11:13:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3118103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeaka/pseuds/yeaka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Naomi’s inadvertent conversation leads Q to more misunderstandings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kidlets

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Fill for ample-nacells’ “Trek fic with flirty, physically affectionate aces. Really bubbly, silly aces” request on [my tumblr](http://yeaka.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Star Trek or any of its contents, and I’m not making any money off this.

Icheb does, of course, recognize that he’s the youngest person aboard, aside from Naomi herself. He’s the closest in age, which was what Neelix gave him for a reason. It still doesn’t explain to him why he should be the one to babysit while Neelix is off on the planet, given that Icheb has absolutely no child-rearing experience whatsoever. And hardly any social skills. The Borg children he came aboard with weren’t like this at all. 

They go to the holodeck, because a common denominator keeps their company less tedious. And it’s a decent distraction. When Icheb, apparently, ‘misses the point’ of the first two programs, Naomi makes an irritated sigh and puts her hands on her hips, rolling her eyes and saying, “Alright, we’ll just do a Stroll Through the Woods. It’s sight seeing, so we won’t have any mysteries to solve way too quickly.”

Icheb, lifting one eyebrow, comments, “I fail to see how one could solve a mystery too quickly.”

“That’s right,” Naomi answers levelly, “you fail.” She gives him a hard stare, and he can vaguely tell that she’s making a joke, but the concept of humour is still difficult for him to grasp. As a realist, Icheb doesn’t like to waste thought wishing for things. But now, he does wish that Neelix would hurry back. 

Naomi is a nice enough child. Icheb’s just awkward. She shakes her head and takes his hand, and together, they walk down the forest path that’s sprung to life around them, all bright, vivid colours: rich, red-brown trees trunks and shimmering, blue-green leaves. Flowers are everywhere, varied in shape and size, and while most of the species are unrecognizable even to Icheb’s vast databanks, he’s sure that some of them, vaguely resembling known flora, don’t belong together. A fantasy program, surely. Like most of Naomi’s. She’s... a very interesting creature.

Other creatures are in the woods too, mostly small, fuzzy rodents with long tails and large eyes, some with big ears and some with four legs, other with six. Every so often, a bird will pass, and Naomi stops to point at things, like a large butterfly that has a humanoid face depicted on his wings, and Naomi laughs and says, “Doesn’t that look like the captain?” Icheb can’t see the resemblance. 

He says, “It could,” solely for her benefit. She grins up at him. Their arms are swinging between them by her force. 

Then, as they reach a crossroads where Naomi guides them left, she looks up at him and asks, “Are you going to have kids?”

Icheb’s steps falter. He nearly trips over a rock, which is very unsettling for an ex-Borg that always strives for perfection. It isn’t a question he’s ever given much thought; in the collection, it wouldn’t have even been an option. Now that he’s an individual... he doesn’t even know what he’d do with a child. But it’s something he’d have to give a lot more thought than he has time for in the span of their conversation. So he says, “I suppose not.”

“Maybe you’ll have one by surprise.” She’s grinning brightly when he looks down at her in confusion. “I surprised mom.”

This is exactly why Icheb shouldn’t babysit alone. He doesn’t know how to tell Naomi that that’ll never happen, because he has no desire to have sex with a woman, or sex at all, and he winds up muttering, “That is unlikely.”

“I want Neelix to! Have kids, I mean. I bet Telaxian babies are adorable.” 

And again, Icheb doesn’t think he should tell Naomi that Neelix is also asexual. It isn’t his life to announce, and he doesn’t know when it’s appropriate to discuss sexuality with a child. The Borg, naturally, would assimilate all the information relevant to reproduction of a species, but it would never come into play for a specific drone, so it wouldn’t matter. In some ways, Icheb misses that simplicity. Solely to change the subject, he points to a squirrel-like creature perched high above them in a tree, asking, “What is the name of that species?”

“It’s—” 

But whatever it is, Icheb doesn’t find out, because Naomi cuts off in a shrill scream that nearly bursts Icheb’s eardrums. A flash of light’s exploded on Icheb’s other side, leaving a man in its wake, and Icheb instinctively takes a protective step in front of Naomi, even though, a split second later, he knows there isn’t any danger, and Naomi’s yell cuts off. 

Just as well too, because Q Junior, forever immature, bends at the waist and shrieks right back into Naomi’s face, leaving poor Icheb stuck between. Naomi simply stares at the newcomer. It takes a full second for her to recover, face steeling over as she points an accusatory finger. “You’re not supposed to be in this program!”

“And yet, here I am.” Q gives her a toothy grin, but it’s Icheb he latches onto. His arms, covered in the usual unearned Starfleet uniform, weave around Icheb’s, and he pulls himself close to Icheb’s side, still bending forward when he talks to Naomi, as she’s several heads shorter. “You see, I couldn’t help overhearing. And I really agree with you.”

“You do?” Naomi blinks dazedly. She probably has as little idea what he’s talking about as Icheb, but then, that seems to be the way of Qs.

“Yes.” Straightening proudly, Q pats Icheb’s shoulder, then rests his chin on it, lashes fluttering deliberately as he looks right into Icheb’s face. His eyes are mesmerizing; little universes seems to swirl in his pupils, so Icheb tries to focus on less distracting things, like the sweep of his honey hair and the soft curves of his face. “You know, that doesn’t sound like such a bad idea. Maybe we should have a kid, Ichi.”

Icheb just glares. Trust Q to not at all think a situation through, and make it worse by embarrassing Icheb in front of an audience. If Q was thinking, he’d have reached the same conclusion as Icheb. Even if Q were to change his reproductive organs and species accordingly, he wouldn’t _want_ to go through the process that produces children. Evidently, Icheb’s going to have to have the humanoid intimacy conversation again, despite the disgruntled protests Q always gives at having to hear such “human horrors.” 

Apparently not as omnipotent as he claims, Q’s just staring at Icheb with that goofy smile, until Icheb says, “Clearly, you are unaware of how Brunali have children.”

“’Course I know how!” Q snorts. Then he holds out his finger, like expecting Icheb to do the same. 

Icheb slaps it away and says, “We will have to have another talk.”

“Not here!” Naomi chimes in, making a disgusted face. “That’s not appropriate for the holodeck!” Q looks genuinely baffled, perhaps because Naomi’s the one that started it, but he’s the one that worsened it. Crossing her arms across her chest, Naomi puffs up and announces, “Anyway, if you want to come on this program, you can’t cause any trouble. You’re scaring all the animals away.”

When Icheb looks around, he realizes she’s right. The various woodland creatures have slunk back into the trees, and those that stayed are perched to run, watching the commotion warily. And they don’t even know how truly disruptive Q can be. 

Fortunately, Q sighs, “Alright.” Naomi beams, not knowing how lucky she is to catch Q in a rare agreeable mood. With another pop of light, Q disappears and reappears halfway behind Icheb, where he reaches his arms out to Icheb’s sides and wraps himself tightly around Icheb’s body, nuzzling into Icheb’s neck to trill, “I’ll behave, won’t I, Ichi?”

Icheb thinks his face might be turning red again, but he says, “Okay.” Just to move everything along. Naomi looks satisfied. After all, the embarrassing behaviour isn’t that different from Neelix. Except that Neelix, fortunately, doesn’t have omnipotent powers. 

Naomi leads the expedition out, looking around and straying near the edges of the dirt path as she goes. It takes a bit of work to coax the animals back, but with Icheb and Q lingering a few paces behind, she manages, slowly, to restore the forest to full life. Q behaves himself for maybe five minutes. 

Then he’s nuzzling into Icheb’s face again, and Icheb tries to turn away, but Q is all over him, and Naomi has to put the hedgehog she’s holding down, stand up and order, “Stop it!”

“What? It’s a crime now to be affectionate?” Q scoffs, rocking Icheb lightly on the spot with the force of his hug. When Naomi puts her little hands on her hips and glares, Q laughs, “I think we’ve got ourselves a pint-sized captain!”

Icheb can see the mischief before it comes. He knows that Q’s going to do something, probably change the scenery, warp the world around them to put Naomi in a captain’s chair where Q can goof off on a bridge and be more defiant than ever. Icheb turns his face to stare down Q, meaning to bark out a “no,” but before he can, Q pecks him on the nose.

The holodeck arch appears before anyone else can protest, and Naomi starts running for it before the doors even open. As they slide apart, Neelix bustles inside, bright and colourful as ever. He looks down to see Naomi just in time, catches her in his arms, and lifts her up, laughing on the way. Naomi latches onto his neck, squealing in delight, “Neelix!”

Before there’s any chance to drudge up Q’s messy past with Neelix, Icheb starts to usher them out of the holodeck. As they pass Neelix on the way, he chirps, “Thank you for watching Naomi for me!” Though, in fact, it’s Ensign Wildman, still on alpha shit, they were watching Naomi for. Fortunately, Neelix is as bubbly and sweet as ever, and Icheb pulls Q down the hall before he can ruin that.

When they turn the corner, Q, still latched onto Icheb’s arm, coos, “We should make babies.” A stray lieutenant passes them just in time to hear it, and Icheb ducks his head in embarrassment. He heads for his quarters, because parading Q down to astrometrics where Seven can see them is rarely a good idea. 

As they step into the turbolifts, doors closing around them, Icheb sets back into explaining to an all-mighty god of the universe how exactly it is that most mortal babies are made.


End file.
